Posted in Sermons

Sermon #1: What’s good for the goose is good for the gander?

It’s Sunday once again, and that means it’s time for a sermon to the unwashed masses. Incidentally, as you no doubt realize, Sunday is the time for sermons in the Christian world. Of course, it’s Friday in the Muslim world and Saturday in the Jewish world. I’ll let you make of that what you will.

Before I start, as a disclaimer for all the rabid fundamentalists with a weak heart who might be reading this, I have, shall we say, a somewhat different take on religion than you might be expecting/hoping for.

And one for my fellow athiests. I’m writing this as if God exists. For me, showing what God would really be like if he existed demonstrates more than any other way that I hope in hell, for all our sakes, He doesn’t exist.

Now, with that out of the way, on with the show.

As this is sermon #1, I’ve decided to start right at the beginning: God’s will.

As anyone born and raised in a Christian society will know, God is perfect. I mean, he’s all knowing, all seeing, exists everywhere (even when you’re sitting on the toilet!), he’s all good (by his own definition), and he has a definite and structured plan for the universe that somehow encorporates the random nature of one of his species having free will. What more could any being want?

Lackeys, apparently.

God wants our worship, our loyalty, our piteous kow-towing and humiliating sacrifices. The first sign of an insecure being: needing to constantly be told you’re great.

God also seems to want our suffering. I mean he’s perfect, so his plan must be perfect, and that plan must therefore include the unimaginable daily suffering of members of our species. The mame, rape and starvation of children. The torture of innocents in horrible wars, the loss and destruction from natural disasters.

None of this should really be new to anyone who’s read the bible. It’s very clearly spelled out over pages and pages how God tortures, humiliates, and outright kills us. Sometimes just for his amusement. Witness Noah’s Flood where he kills us just because he tires of us. Even when convinced he may be too harsh, he only saves one family. One! Out of millions. And what about the book of Job, where he allows the torture of one of his most faithful just for a bet. I mean, how sick do you have to be?!

There are many other instances of craziness and sadism (placing the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden comes to mind) but I’ll just bring up one more. Jesus.

I’ll save my own interpretation of the virgin birth and Jesus’ formative childhood for another sermon. What I want to touch on here is the ‘sacrifice’. Yes, it’s in quotes because, basically, what sacrifice occured? According to the bible, Jesus hung around for a few days on a cross, had a 3 day sleep and woke up. End of story, we’re all saved.

What’s that?

We’re saved from the original sin of Adam and Eve (which we had no part in, and was perpetrated by God — more in another sermon) because he decided to torture his son? How does that make any sense? Would anyone here think to torture their child in order to justify forgiving their neighbour? It’s ludicrous!

Not to mention that the biblical story makes no sense, even as some religious rhetoric, since there was no actual sacrifice. Jesus knew he would be resurected, not to mention that he is a God himself (part of the holy trinity). So he was never in any danger what-so-ever.

It’s just more sado-masichism from the master of disaster, God. Man, the rest of the universe must be really boring for him to spend to much time torturing us. Of course, he hasn’t been around much lately, so maybe he found new favourites?!

What I’ve shown are just a few of the numerous examples of God’s pettiness, craziness, sickness and all other kinds of psychotic behaviour. So, how does this fit in to the topic of the sermon, God’s will?

Well, I’ve shown that, according to His own words, God is one crazy mofo. So, he may have a plan for the universe, a plan for us, but if he does, are you sure you want to be part of it? After all, it might be a good plan, as God sees it, but does that mean it will be a good plan for humanity?

Think about that, and think about God’s track record in manipulating humanity, next time you think to worship God. And then think, do I really believe God’s will is in our best interest?

Insight and longevity,

The Revenant



I'm a writer, publisher, digital artist and web designer. As chief editor of Utility Fog Press I've been responsible for the publication of three anthologies.

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